Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I have these people on my ass, I thought they where just friends, but... NOOOO.. they just want to get into my panties..
I don't want that, I don't need that. I just wanna be left alone, and figure shit out for myself. But NO. I have to do this, that, and the other...
I can't, not anymore, i am too poof, too tired, too fed up and too pissed off.

Sometimes, I just wish I could die, but, I am too coward to do even that. So, *deep breath* and move on. Hurt and all.

And no-one cares, no-one sees, no-one cares to see.

I am beginning to seriously question my judgement of people. I mean, up till a few months ago, it was sound, my gut told me everything I needed to know, but after him, and his crap...not so much.

Maybe a few months off from the world would do me some good, if not, well, lesson learned, right?

I just don't know anymore.

lost.. and utterly confumbled..

Monday, March 11, 2013

Right, so. 3 months into the new year, and I feel like my life has completely fallen apart.

I lost my job, lost what I thought was the love of my life, and just overall everything is going like crap.

I wasn't feeling too well this last December, I really wanted to give up on everything, but I met up with my ex again, and he sorta made me feel like I could move on, forward and make something of myself.
So, at the beginning of the new year, I decided that I was going to give it my all, and do my best.

Sadly, it didn't work out that way. The job I had sucked, and I kept fighting with my boyfriend.

And last Friday, it just blew up in my face. He was being mean, and kinda kept ignoring me the day before, and he wouldn't say anything about it.

I just couldn't take it anymore, so I left the guild, and he just became even more spitefull. I never thought he could be that way. The first time he broke up with me was bad, but this was even worse, because he didn't even care to explain it to me. He just told me to lose his number and "to rot away in the crappy room I call home"

Nice, huh? I have been trying so hard to make something of myself, and it is so hard, and still I keep going, and he acts like I am not even trying. Like I like living like this.

But lesson learned again, I will not make these same mistakes again. I am not sure if I even want to continue with my job, and everything else seems like too much.

Maybe next month will be better.